Back in April, I had the honor of chatting with the amazing Jeffrey Marsh. Through reaching prominence on Vine, Jeffrey has touched the lives of thousands- if not, MILLIONS, of people worldwide and became a fierce advocate for the LGBTQIA+ community, especially its gender-nonconforming youth. We talked about living on a farm, their upcoming book release, and what their journey has been like over the past few years.
Lauren Ennis: Can you tell us a little about your background?
Jeffrey Marsh: I grew up on a farm in Pennsylvania. For I think part of middle school, but definitely 9th and 10th grade, I went to a Lutheran high school near Baltimore. My mom is a Lutheran pastor. I went to public school for junior and senior year and also went to a Magnet performing arts high school. So I danced, and sang and did all that in the afternoon and I did my regular classes in the morning. Then I went to school for musical theatre at the University of the Arts in Philadelphia.
LE: What were your aspirations back when you were in college?
JM: It’s so weird! I was thinking I was going to be a cabaret star- an international cabaret singer, always expressing my gender identity, always being artistic, that sort of thing. You can see those roots in my Vines, of course, but social media is a very different thing.
LE: What were your goals when starting on social media?
JM: Well, world domination, that’s number one. My message has always been the same: that there is nothing wrong with you, and I want to take that message to as many people as I possibly can. And that is what I was doing in my cabaret work; I was singing songs about the human experience and what it means to have emotions and come back from that, and my Vine was really just the first thing that was popular, frankly. It took off. But the message has always been the same.
LE: What made you choose Vine?
JM: My friend told me to download the app, and I said no. I said I had so much more to say than just six seconds’ worth. But, eventually, I downloaded it and started experimenting, and seeing what would happen, and eventually had my first viral Vine and stuff like that, but the reason I chose Vine was to get the message out. I was trying YouTube at the time, live performance, all that stuff, and Vine just seemed like another way to try it.
LE: You mentioned your first viral Vine, but do you have a favorite Vine?
JM: My personal favorite? Well, I don’t know if I have one! They're like my children, I love them all equally. I think that’s actually important because I know Viners who will delete Vines that aren’t popular, and I don’t do that. If you look at my page you’ll see some with not many likes, some with a lot of likes, and I leave it all on there because I feel they’re all important to me, and they’re all creative expression and I wouldn’t want to decide which ones to keep and which ones to delete. My first viral Vine was me as the Statue of Liberty for July 4th, and I was dancing around on my New York City rooftop to “Party in the USA." That one took off and I just started gaining followers on and on from there. My most popular Vine to date is the one that says “I can predict the future and you’re going to be okay.”
LE: I think that one is my favorite vine of yours! What was the response to that Vine like?
JM: It’s ongoing. I still get messages to this day, actually every single day, from people saying “I was suicidal, I’ve decided to stick around because of your videos,” and specifically that one is one that they’ve mentioned a lot as having a personal impact on them. It’s about helping people know that they’re not alone, and I think people sense through my Vines that I’ve been there. I’ve been to some dark places, and I’ve been rejected and made fun of. I’ve been the unpopular kid. I’ve been the recipient of hate. External and internal. I did that to myself for a long time, and I’ve come to the other side of that, and have something to offer about how other people can do that.
LE: We all know you are a very positive person, but let's face it, we're all human here. How do you currently deal with people saying negative things, or negative things happening, or when you’re in a place where you yourself aren’t feeling positive?
JM: I don’t deal with it in the sense that it’s a problem. To me, it’s not a problem at all. People ask me, “How can you be so positive all the time?” on social media and I point out to them that I’m not. I actually have Vines where I’m not positive, in the sense of being in a good mood. It was important to me to show on my Vine all the flavors that are possible for human beings and that they’re all okay. So when I feel down, I put all of my attention into taking care of myself. That is the time to recharge, to say kind things to myself, to eat good food, to go for a walk, to do whatever feels like it’s going to be very caring for this human being. People tend to look at their emotions as problems, especially negative emotions, but they’re not problematic at all, actually. Even something sustained, like depression, or if you get angry a lot, even that’s not a problem. You can address it, certainly, but it’s not anything about you. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.
LE: Wow, I never really looked at it that way before. What was the moment you found your self-love and acceptance? Was there a specific moment that you remember?
JM: None of us are taught love and acceptance. Would you believe I have never encountered a single human being, in my private life or online in the millions of people I talk to, I’ve never encountered someone who was not told that there is something wrong with them in one way or another? You’re too this, you’re too that. You’re not enough that. Whatever it is, they got the message that there was something wrong with them. None of us are taught love and acceptance, or maybe I should say it’s just very rare for a kid to be taught that, so I wasn’t taught it either. I spent years hating myself. I found a book actually called There Is Nothing Wrong With You, which is by a lady named Cheri Huber, and that book changed my entire life. I saw the cover and was like “Oh please. No. That is not true. There is something wrong with me.” But when I picked it up I felt magnetized and I read it and enjoyed it. She’s Buddhist, and she runs a monastery, and I ended up going on a retreat with them and feeling better about who I am.
LE: I'm going to definitely check that book out. What are some other pieces or people that you’ve found particularly inspiring toward what you do?
JM: I am actually really inspired to this day by Bette Midler, because she’s so outrageously herself, and has been for decades, actually. And, it’s totally esoteric, I’m inspired by a Vaudeville performer named Julian Eltinge. They didn’t have the label “genderqueer” at the time, but Julian certainly is to me, and Julian was the most famous of what they called “female impersonators” in Vaudeville and had a theater named after him, and sold magazines, and face care products, and all kinds of stuff with his stardom playing women on the stage. As cheesy as it sounds, I’m always inspired by people who are themselves. It can be in any context at all, visual artists or authors, you name it. I’m writing a book myself, and on Goodreads you need to list your author inspirations, and I really just love anybody who is ditching the self hate and just honestly expressing who they are.
LE: About your book, How to Be You, coming out in August. It looks amazing, but what can we expect from it? What information can you give us about it?
JM: I will give you the inside scoop on that book! I’m really pretty proud of it, that’s number one, for a couple of reasons. It is a co-creation, so the book has three major genres that it falls into. It’s such a risk for Penguin Random House to accept this book and to publish it, because it’s not easily "categorizable," kind of like me. It’s part memoir, straight up where I came from and what it was like to grow up on a farm and be me, and there’s advice. It’s called How to Be You, so it’s meant to be the manual we never got growing up on how to be you. It's also part workbook, so people get to do craft projects, they get to tear out pages, they get to answer questions about their lives and how they make choices, and they get to interact so that we’re creating this book together. So it’s so exciting. I love it.
LE: Along the lines of being uncategorizable, what do you think makes people feel such a need to label people, to label gender and sexuality, and how do you see that changing?
JM: A label is validating, and I think people, especially if you’re asexual, aromantic, genderqueer, anything that isn’t mainstream or even gay. If you're against the mainstream culture, you’re not validated. So, I think a label is validating and empowering for people. It gets really tricky when you think that that is all of who you are, because you’re fighting so hard for that validation. I think you forget that even without a label or before a label, you’re valid anyway. You were perfectly fine and okay even without a label. To me, a label is something extra, and it can be helpful and give you more of a clue about yourself and how you navigate the world, but it’s also a dangerous trap if you reduce yourself down to that one word. My hope for the next ten, twenty, thirty years is that as an LGBT or Queer culture, whatever that means, that we will start to learn self-acceptance, and to love who we are as people. I know a lot of us are doing it already, but so much of the fight, whether it’s gay marriage or getting Transparent on TV or whatever, so much of the fight has been about convincing cis people and straight people that we’re okay. We might have skipped over the part where we convince ourselves that we’re okay. If I have a hope for the coming years it’s that we get to that.
LE: This next question is from a reader named Sammy. What are your goals for your app? What do you want to see it grow into?
JM: My ultimate goal would be to create a safe place for people to connect, who are like me. By “like me” I don’t mean queer necessarily, I mean sensitive, artistic, wild, crazy. That’s like me. Anybody who feels like an outsider can download the app and feel like they have a place to belong.
LE: What are some things you are looking forward to in your own life?
JM: Continuing to practice Buddhism, of course, for the rest of eternity. That’s my commitment and I’m sticking with it. As far as career stuff goes, I want to get this book out into the world. I’m excited about that. And I hope that my message is compatible with TV! We’re talking to people about going into that space, and maybe having a show where I help people or connect with people. Is it okay to be totally frank with you? I would hope one day to be the queer Oprah. I know Ellen sort of does that, but Ellen has a very different personality. I would be doing the whole “live your best life,” spiritual aspects, and all of that, but a queer version.
LE: Well, when that show comes, I know I am tuning in. Thank you so much, Jeffrey, it was an honor.
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